Macon Mayor C. Jack Ellis said the city plans to purchase Terminal Station from Georgia Power instead of waiting for the state to buy it. Ellis didn't disclose a possible purchase price or say where the funds would come from.

Terminal Station's purchase has long been on the wish list for downtown redevelopment, but it recently hit a snag: The $2.5 million requested by the Georgia Rail Passenger Authority to purchase the building never made it into the state budget due to higher pork priorities on the state level--especially in Bremen, Georgia. State Sen. David Scott, D., Atlanta, said people are dying waiting in line to get their share of the state pork.

"We can buy it, then beg for help from the feds. We're not going to die waiting in line, I have DC connections," Ellis said.

A Georgia Power spokesperson said while the company is not actively seeking a buyer for the property, the main concern is that it be preserved. "Show me the money!" said Lisa Hendrix of Georgia Power. "It's a national landmark, so it should fetch some BIG national dollars."

Ellis said a final purchase proposal could come before the City Council as early as next month. "We need to get the bickering started and over with so we can make a move before the presidential election," Ellis said.

The Comedy Cafe is currently seeking to relocate to the old Capitol Theatre building on Second Street, said Mike Snicker, owner of the stand-up comedy club now on Riverside Drive near Ingleside Drive. And Cafe Erotica wants to share the building, relocating from Interstate 75 in Byron.

While nothing has been finalized, the Capitol Theater's owner, Phil Groper, said he's eager to close a deal. "I feel good about the concept---- Comedy Cafe Erotica," Groper said. "Comedy and naked dancing girls really go together in my book."

Groper said no leases have been signed. "We just have a handshake, a gentleman's agreement," he said. "No hiney pinching or other formalities yet. No money has been slipped under my garter belt."

The Comedy Cafe is now in the former Kmart shopping center on Riverside Drive but is being forced to move because the Bibb County Board of Education is renovating the strip mall for a $9.8 million career center. "Cafe Erotica really wanted to move in with us in a strip mall---but the Board of Ed isn't prepared to offer career counseling for strippers and comedians. Anyway, Erotica said they'd be happy downtown, too, as long as they could put a 'We Bare All!' billboard over City Hall to direct customers to their new location," Snicker said.

The mayor's office expressed cautious enthusiasm. "Mayor Ellis supports bringing business to downtown, but he's not yet comfortable with a 'We Bare All' billboard over City Hall," said the mayor's spokesperson, C. Jane Runn. "Besides, the people in City Hall are ugly enough with their clothes on," Runn said.

MILLEDGEVILLE - George Alfred "Bubba" Bell will be sworn in tonight as Baldwin County's first white, recovering alcoholic retired plumber county commissioner during a ceremony at 6 p.m. in the commission chambers at the Baldwin County Courthouse. Baldwin County Probate Judge Todd Blackwell appointed Bell to fill the unexpired term of his cousin, Benjamin Oscar "Bubba" Bell, who died Jan. 17 in an unexpected death. He will serve through the remainder of this year.

Council, Commission to hold joint session

The Macon City Council and the Bibb County Commission will hold a joint session at 3:30 p.m. tomorrow in the Council chamber of City Hall, 700 Poplar St. The two bodies will hear a presentation by New Town Macon on the Tax Allocation District to finance the joint city/county $10 million bond issue.

Based on the volume of phone calls received after the last joint session announcement, officials asked the media to emphasize several points. First, no dead bodies are involved. The term "bodies" in this context refers to governmental bodies or organizations. Second, there will be no marijuana cigarettes in use at these meetings nor will there be illegal drugs of any kind. The public and the media are allowed to observe but anyone bringing illegal substances or paraphernalia (such as pipes, bongs, etc.) will be arrested.

Following the joint session, the City Council Community Resources and Development Committee will meet in the Council conference room. Items on the agenda include a resolution to abolish boring meetings and joint sessions in the future.

At 6 p.m. the council will meet for its regular session, also known as "the free-for-all" or the "knock-down-drag-out" session.

Central Georgia listeners squealed with delight at the news that the AM940 morning talk show, with hosts Kenny B and Charles Richardson, was expanding to include 6-7am on weekday mornings. The show covers various local, state and national news topics. Listeners awoke hours earlier than normal and stood anxiously by their radios awaiting the start of the show an hour earlier. Then all hell broke loose.

When the show didn't air as promised, irate listeners flooded the WMAC phone lines wanting to know what was going on. Was there some evil liberal conspiracy? Did some Republican cabal kidnap Charles and delay the show? No. Kenny and Charles simply forgot to set their clocks forward over the weekend. They arrived at the station and thought they were starting early, said an inside source.

Station representatives presented a different story. "Kenny and Charles really meant they would start an hour earlier because of the daylight savings time," said CT, a spokesman for WMAC. "Ummm, our station clocks are still set at standard time, so we really are starting an hour earlier----yeah, that's the ticket," CT said.

Disclaimer: The accounts, quotes and stories on this page are wholly fictitious and intended as satire and humor. Although real names may be used and all good humor has an element of truth, this stuff ain't real. If you didn't already know these stories were bogus, then you're not too bright. --Steve Scroggins

These parodies are frequently featured on the NewsTalk940 WMAC morning show with Kenny & Charles.